


Wishing The World Away

by BSBLover2538



Series: Wishing The World Away [1]
Category: Backstreet Boys
Genre: Homelessness, Implied/Referenced Character Death, M/M, Major Illness, Mpreg, Out of Character, Past Rape/Non-con, Teen Pregnancy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-14
Updated: 2019-01-14
Packaged: 2019-10-09 19:46:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 9
Words: 10,278
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17413127
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BSBLover2538/pseuds/BSBLover2538
Summary: AJ McLean showed up 8 months pregnant to the home of Howie and Brian Littrell-Dorough. The couple take the teen boy in, and help him out. AJ finds his rapist, and learns some shocking news. A few years later, AJ eventually finds love of his own, with an unexpected person.





	1. Finding Home

AJ looked in the window of the nearest home. He was lost, and his cell phone was dead. It had been hours since he left his home, his parents throwing him out, for the last time. He knew that showing up home, with an obvious bump, would cause what had ultimately happened. AJ rubbed his stomach, willing his child to calm down, but knowing that the baby was hungry, and so was he. 

“Hey, what’s going on?” AJ spun around, to see the man who owned the house, walking up to him. 

“Sorry, sir. I was just trying to find a good place to rest for the night. I was looking around to find a safe neighborhood, to stay in the park” AJ looked down at his feet after his explanation. 

“How old are you son?” the man asked, genuinely curious. 

“I am 17, sir. I was raped some months ago, and I became pregnant. I was at boarding school, and came home, and my parents took one look at me, and threw me out. The other father wants nothing to do with me or the baby, so I have to find someplace to go.” AJ tried not to cry as he was talking, but a few tears slid down his face. 

The man, Brian, looked at the young, pregnant boy in front of him. He knew that the chances of AJ finding a place to stay, was slim to none. He looked closely, and saw that AJ seemed to be about 7-8 months pregnant. An ache in his heart told him to try and take care of this child. He looked at his watch, and saw that his husband would soon be coming home. 

“Hey, my name is Brian, why don’t you come inside, and I can make you some food, to help feed you and the baby?” Brian offered, and watched as AJ looked up at him for the first time. 

“Really sir? I wouldn’t want to be a bother. I can just go to the park, and figure something out tomorrow” AJ spoke softly, as he traced a circle with his shoe. 

“I do not feel comfortable with you being so obviously pregnant, in a park, with no one around. My husband will be home soon, and we can talk to him. He is a doctor, specializing in obstetrics, so he can check on the baby for you” Brian leaned down to match AJ’s level, and smiled at the boy. 

“I was only able to get one checkup, so I don’t know how the baby is doing. I don’t even know whether it’s a boy or a girl. I know I should have, but I had to hide the pregnancy when I was at school, so no one knew about it, except for the other father, who denied it anyway” AJ looked up at Brian as he explained his situation. 

Brian’s heart broke, and he knew that he couldn’t leave AJ stranded. He again invited the boy in, and this time they made their way into the home. AJ looked around as he sat on the couch, and Brian went to get the teen some juice and crackers. 

“What’s your name son?” Brian asked as he set the refreshments in front of the teen, and watched as he started eating. 

“My name is Alexander James McLean, but I go by AJ” the young father told Brian as he ate, feeling his child relax. 

“Well AJ, as I said my name is Brian, and my husband is Howie, we are the Littrell-Dorough family. Howie and I have been married for about five years now, and he is a doctor, while I work part time as a clerk in a pharmacy. We don’t have any kids, or pets. Howie should be home in a few minutes, and he will be happy to meet you, don’t worry” Brian spoke reassuringly, seeing AJ tense up. 

“Are you sure? I really don’t want to put him out of his own home” AJ questioned. 

“Yes, I am absolutely sure, once he sees your belly, he won’t let you leave” Brian knew his husband would take one look at AJ, and insist that he stay with them until he gave birth. 

Five minutes later, that exact scenario occurred, when Howie walked in his front door. Brian introduced him to AJ, and the two went into the kitchen to talk. 

“We cannot let him live at the park. I will not let an obviously pregnant teen become homeless. I know we weren’t exactly expecting to have kids, and AJ is almost 18 anyway. I cannot let a baby come into this world, and have an uncertain future. I want AJ to stay here until he gives birth, and we will see what happens afterward” Howie insistently told his husband, who was nodding his head. 

“I completely agree with you, Howie. I also told AJ something similar. Why don’t we offer our guest bedroom to AJ, and tell him that he can stay until he gives birth, and even afterward. We could get a few things for him, and help him start school online again, so that he can graduate. What do you think about that?” Brian asked his husband, who thought for a moment. 

“That would work. Let’s go talk to AJ” Howie and Brian went back into the living room, and caught AJ talking to his bump. 

“Hey little one, I hope you are okay in there. I really hope I can stay with Brian and Howie, they seem really nice, and welcomed me with open arms. I can’t wait to meet you, and I love you little one. I will do everything I can for you, and you are my little star. Daddy loves you little one” AJ started tearing up as he talked to his stomach. He looked up as he caught the two men looking at him, with soft smiles on their faces. 

“AJ, Brian and I were talking, and we’d like to offer something to you. You stay here for the rest of your pregnancy, and even afterward. Brian and I will make sure you get back into an online school, and have the basic things for the baby. You would stay in our guest bedroom, and we would help you out as much as we could. I would bring you to one of my coworkers, so you could check on the baby, and make sure you are both healthy” Howie looked at AJ’s expression as he made the offer. 

“I don’t know what to say. I really want to stay with you guys, but I don’t want to be a burden, especially being pregnant. The baby isn’t your responsibility, its mine. I want to say yes so badly, but I don’t want you two to regret it once the baby comes” AJ looked up at the two men with a heartbroken look. 

“We will not throw you and the baby out, and we wouldn’t offer if we weren’t serious. We want you and the baby to stay here, and be safe and healthy. Please consider our offer” Brian pleaded with the teenager, who looked up at the two with wide eyes. 

“Brian and Howie, I....” 

The men waited on bated breath for AJ’s decision.


	2. Finding Out The Gender

“Brian and Howie, I accept your offer to stay with you until at least the baby comes” AJ got up and hugged the two men, as Brian teared up. 

“Thank you, AJ, that makes us feel a lot better” Howie hugged the young father back, and told him they’d go to the hospital the next day to check on the baby. 

“Thank you, Howie, I would love to see the baby, and find out if it’s a boy or a girl finally. My instincts are telling me it’s a boy, although I have thought it could be a girl as well” AJ smiled as he thought about the baby, already having a name in place if it was a boy. 

“Let’s eat dinner, and then make plans to get some things for the baby, and figure out what do with you for school” Brian got out the take-out menus, with all three choosing pizza, and quickly ordered it. 

“Well, I am going to be a senior this year, but I have no idea what I want to do. I wanted to do something with math, or accounting, after I graduated, but I don’t know what I can do with a baby in tow now” AJ confessed, looking down at his shoes. 

Brian reached over and lifted his head, reassuring him that if he wanted, he could go to college. There were plenty to choose from locally, and Brian offered to watch the baby, so he could go to class. AJ was stunned. 

“Let’s just get through my senior year, and let me apply to a few places, before we make any decisions. Can we go this weekend to look at some baby supplies? I don’t think I have very long until little one comes” AJ asked the two men, who nodded. 

Their dinner came, and the three ate ravenously. AJ became tired soon after, and the two men sent him to bed, with plans to get to the hospital early the next day, to check on the baby. 

The next morning dawned early, and AJ was the first one up. He thought about the previous day and a smile came to his face. He looked down to his bump, and rubbing it, talked to the baby. 

“Hey little one, Daddy can’t wait to find out what you are today. He hopes that you are okay, and getting big and strong. It definitely feels like you are a soccer player in there” AJ heard a snort, and looked up to see Brian smiling at him, standing at his doorway. 

“Ready to go to the hospital, and see the little one?” Brian asked, and watched as AJ bounced up, and followed him to the car. 

Thirty minutes later, AJ was seeing his little one for the first time. He couldn’t help but tear up watching the baby wiggle around, trying to dodge the wand of the sonographer. 

“Do you want to know the sex of the baby” the tech asked AJ, who nodded his head.

“You have a very healthy little boy in there” AJ started crying in earnest, as he looked at his son. 

“Hello Finley Lucas McLean, my son” AJ thought, as he watched his son moving around.

AJ and Brian were on their way home from the appointment, where AJ had learned that he would give birth within the next month. It was now November 3rd, and Howie’s colleague, Rochelle, told him that his due date was December 1st. 

AJ knew that he would eventually want to tell Finley’s other father about him, but felt it could wait until after Finn’s birth. He hoped that seeing the baby would make him accept him, but doubted it would change a thing. 

The weekend came, and after figuring out schooling the day before for AJ, the three set out for the local baby store, to get a few things for the little boy. AJ wouldn’t tell Brian or Howie his name until his birth, wanting to keep it a secret for now. They got a small bassinette for him to sleep in, and a few outfits, and some diapers and formula. Howie knew that AJ would get a package from the hospital when he was leaving, full of necessities. 

AJ settled down in his new home, and spent the next couple weeks getting to know Brian and Howie, and talking to his son, who kicked every time he heard his daddy’s voice. He slowly started school, and quickly got caught up, being a very smart teen. Howie asked that he take the last week of November off, and just relax until he gave birth. AJ took that advice, and just waited for signs of labor. 

The night of December 5th came, and AJ was completely uncomfortable. He got up off the couch, and heard a pop. He looked down, and saw water gushing out of him. He looked up at Howie, completely terrified. Labor had started, and he was completely scared. 


	3. Meeting Finn

“Howie, what do I do?” AJ fearfully asked the older of the two men who had been there for him in the last month. 

“We will get your bag, and go to the hospital soon. Your water just broke, which means that the contractions will get stronger. The birth canal has probably already formed, and the baby is descending. Let’s get you changed, and get to the hospital” Howie soothingly told the laboring teen. 

Brian got fresh clothes for AJ to change into, and Howie started the car. Luckily Howie was off duty, and could be there for AJ, which was a complete blessing to the teen. They soon had made it to the hospital, and AJ got settled into his hospital room.

“Howie, this really hurts!” AJ nearly yelled after several hours of contractions, but he was only dilated to a 6, meaning he still had time before the baby would be here. 

“You know you can get an epidural now” Howie reminded the young father, who nodded his head. 

“I need it, please tell Rochelle I need an epidural” AJ pleaded for relief, and an hour later, relief came, and he settled down to sleep the rest of his labor away. 

Six hours later, AJ was fully dilated, and pushing with all the strength he had to get his son to come into the world. Brian and Howie each held one of his legs, and the three witnessed AJ’s son come into the world. 

“It’s a boy!” Rochelle announced as she laid the baby on AJ’s chest, the young father already kissing and cradling his son. 

“Hello my boy. I am so happy to meet you! I love you my little star, and I can’t wait to see you grow” AJ whispered to his son, with tears in his eyes. 

He looked up to see both Howie and Brian with tears in their eyes, just watching Finley cry and squirm on AJ’s chest. The nurse came and got him weighed and measured, and brought him swaddled back to AJ. 

“Well care to introduce us to this little man” Brian asked the tired teen in front of him. 

“This is Finley Lucas McLean, born on December 6, 1995, at 8 pounds 12 ounces, and 21 inches long” AJ introduced his son to the two men who had been there for him.

“Hi Finley! Howie and Brian love you!” the two men cooed to the baby, who continued sleeping. 

“I was actually wondering if you two could be grandfathers to my son. I know that he isn’t biologically yours, but you two have been there for me and helped me so much in the last month. I know I turn 18 soon, but I would love it if I could ask you to adopt me anyway” AJ shyly asked the two men, whose jaws both dropped. 

“Are you completely sure AJ? We would love to adopt you, and be grandfathers to this little guy. I would love to be a Poppy, and I’m sure Howie would be an amazing Abuelo” Brian asked the new father, who nodded his head. 

“I really want to have a family again, and I want my son to have stability. You two have been fathers to me more than my own father ever was. I would love to have my son’s last name be Littrell-Dorough, instead of McLean, since I will be changing my name as well, if you adopt me” AJ looked at the two men in tears, as he spoke his wish. 

“We would love it if little Finn had our last name, and we will adopt you after you turn 18.” Howie firmly declared, making AJ throw himself into his arms, and start crying heavily. 

A few minutes later, he had calmed himself, and asked that Howie and Brian go get some food, and asked for time alone with Finn. The two men agreed, and soon AJ was left alone with his son. He settled Finn in his little crib, and grabbed his cell phone. He spent a few minutes with his hand hovered over a particular number, before he steeled himself, and pressed call. 

A ring or two later, and the call was picked up. 

“Hello AJ” a very familiar voice spoke. 

“Hello Nick, how are you?” AJ asked politely. 

“Doing well, what did you call me for?” Nick asked curiously, wondering why AJ was calling him of all people. They never really got along in school, and only had a few mutual friends. 

“I was wondering if you still talked to Kevin, I need you to tell him something” AJ swallowed, he knew he didn’t have Kevin’s number, and that Nick had hung out with him while they were in school.

“Yes, I do, and what did you want me to tell him?” Nick inquired, now completely confused. 

“Tell him he’s a father to a little boy, born this morning. He has Kevin’s green eyes, and his dark hair” AJ revealed, making Nick sputter.

“How the heck did that happen?” Nick was completely puzzled. 

“Your friend raped me nine months ago. I knew it was him, and he denied it, and the baby when I told him that I was pregnant. Just thought he’d like to know that the baby was here, but I am not expecting a thing from him” AJ boldly told Nick, who was stunned silent. 

“I had no idea AJ, none at all” Nick spoke a few moments later.

“No one did, I kept everything hidden. The only one who knew was Kevin, but he denied it. I hid the pregnancy, and when I went to see my parents, they threw me out, and I knew I couldn’t go back to school” AJ swallowed tears as he spoke, looking at his son. 

“Tell Kevin if he wants to call me, give him my number. I won’t hide my son, but I don’t expect a response from him” AJ told Nick, who promised to talk to Kevin, and AJ hung up the phone and cried. He cried for his son, and for himself. 

Howie and Brian walked into see AJ crying, and immediately went to him. Brian asked what was wrong, and AJ admitted that he had called the other father to Finn, well his friend anyway. The two men shared stunned looks, and set about comforting the teen, who they now looked at as their son. AJ knew that the chance of Kevin contacting him was small, so he set out to raise his son as a single father, and knew that his fathers would be there with him every single step of the way. 


	4. Kevin Returns

Three months later, AJ was doing his best to raise his son. Finn was a good baby, but the sleepless nights started catching up to him. He still got his schoolwork done between naps, but he finally broke down and asked Howie and Brian to watch Finn overnight, so he could get a full night’s sleep. The two men had no problems with this, and had offered several times before. One day AJ got a phone call from a number that he didn’t recognize, but something told him to answer the phone.

“Hello, who is this” AJ tentatively asked.

“Hi AJ, it’s Kevin. Nick told me about your son, and gave me your number. I have something I need to tell you. Can you possibly come to the hospital and see me? I promise you I will not hurt you, and you do not need to bring your child with you. I am on the third floor, Room 12, if you want to come by. If you don’t, I completely understand. I just think you need to hear something important” Kevin spoke quickly, in case AJ hung up.

AJ was stunned. He had never expected to hear from Kevin, and was shocked that he was in the hospital. After quickly thinking, he decided to meet with Kevin, to hear what he had to say. 

“Kevin, I will come see you. Something tells me that you need to see me urgently. Give me an hour, and I will be there, I just have to get my son settled, and get my fathers to watch him” AJ told Finn’s father, who agreed and said he’d be waiting. 

AJ went to Howie and Brian, and told them what was going on. Howie offered to stay with Finn, while Brian took AJ to the hospital, and would stay there while he talked to Kevin. AJ agreed, and the two set off. Forty minutes later, AJ was seeing Kevin for the first time since the rape, and he couldn’t believe his eyes. 

“What happened to you?” AJ asked the man in the bed. Kevin had lost all of his hair, was looking very gaunt, and had all kinds of medicine going into him.

“Brain cancer, stage 4, and it’s terminal” Kevin stated plainly, looking at AJ, trying to remember what had happened a year ago. 

“A year ago, you were fine. What changed?” AJ inquired, shocked, as he sat next to Kevin, who closed his eyes and took a deep breath. 

“About nine months ago, right after you told me about the baby, I started realizing that I was missing parts of my memories. I had no idea what you were talking about, being raped, and having a baby. I went to the doctor, and they found a massive tumor in my brain. It was causing me to lose chunks of time, and not remember days, or weeks at a time. I truly do not remember raping you that day. The last thing I remember was hanging with Nick, and suddenly it was two weeks later, and you were avoiding me, and hiding” Kevin revealed, not looking at AJ, but at the wall. 

“The doctors tried chemo, and radiation, but the tumor hasn’t shrunk, and its only gotten bigger. I have about three months left, the doctors say. I am not trying to excuse my behavior in the least. I know that you will never forgive me for what I did, and I don’t expect you to at all. I just wanted you to know, that it wasn’t exactly me who did it” Kevin finally looked at AJ, and saw that the man was deep in thought. 

“Can I see the medical records, not that I don’t believe you, but I need to see the proof” AJ wanted to have solid proof that was Kevin was saying was true. His mind was running at warp speed, trying to understand all of this. 

“Go, take a look, I understand why you are asking” Kevin nodded at the folder at the end of his bed, and watched as AJ looked through it, his eyes widening. 

Everything that Kevin said was true, it was the tumor that made him do this, it changed everything for the man in the bed, and he didn’t have much time left. AJ knew that while he would never forget the rape, he would feel worse if Kevin didn’t know about his son, and if Finn couldn’t meet his father at least once, AJ would regret it. 

“Your son’s name is Finley Lucas Littrell-Dorough. He was born December 6th, at 8 pounds, 12 ounces, and 21 inches long. He has your green eyes, and dark hair. He is the sweetest baby, and an absolute joy to raise.” AJ told the other man, as he showed him a picture of their son. 

Kevin looked at his son, and started crying. He knew that he wouldn’t be able to see him grow up, and wished that he had more time. Kevin knew he wouldn’t make it another three months, maybe a month, if he was lucky. 

“Can I meet him please, just once” Kevin pleaded with AJ, who nodded his head. 

“I will bring him tomorrow to see you, I have a feeling that you don’t have much time left” Kevin nodded at that, and asked if AJ wanted to meet his parents, and AJ accepted the invitation. Kevin said they would be arriving soon, and AJ sat and told Kevin all about Finn, while they waited. 

Kevin had told his parents what happened, after Nick had called him, and they were shocked and angry with their son. They knew they had a grandson, and were never expecting to meet him or his other father. They walked into their son’s hospital room, preparing for another day watching him slowly fade, and were shocked to see another man in the room with him. 

“Mom, Dad, this is AJ, my son’s father” Kevin introduced his parents to AJ, who hugged his mother, and shook his father’s hand. 

“Hello Mr. and Mrs. Richardson. Kevin called me, and I came down here to hear what he had to say. I know that your son raped me, but I truly don’t blame him anymore, and I know it was the tumor’s doing. It was so out of character for Kevin, and I should have realized it then, but I was so scared, and finding out I was pregnant on top it, just sent me over the edge” AJ sent pleading looks to Kevin and his parents, who nodded their heads. 

“We understand AJ, and we are extremely angry with Kevin for what he did to you. The only reason we didn’t turn him in is because he has so little time left. How are you doing, how is your son?” Mrs. Richardson asked, as she held AJ’s hand. 

“This is your grandson, Finley Lucas. He is now three months old, and is a wonderful baby” AJ showed Kevin’s parents a picture of Finn, and their eyes welled up in tears. 

“I am bringing him over tomorrow to see Kevin, and would love if you two would be here as well” AJ offered, and smiled as the two rapidly nodded their heads. AJ said his goodbyes, and promised to bring Finn the next day at noon. 

“Dad, Papa, we need to talk” AJ said that night, at dinner. AJ had asked after he brought Finn home, if he could call Brian Dad, and Howie Papa, and both men agreed, with smiles on their faces, as they hugged their son.  Brian and Howie looked at each other, wondering what had happened that day in the hospital. AJ had not said one word to them, and it was worrying them. 

“What’s wrong AJ” Brian asked, as the three got settled in the living room, with Finn in the bouncer between them, on the floor. 

AJ told his fathers all about Kevin, and what was going on. He told them about his diagnosis, and his prognosis. 

“I am bringing Finley tomorrow to meet Kevin and his parents. I know I will regret not having at least a picture for Finn of his father with him, no matter how he was conceived. I know you may not believe me, but I saw Kevin’s medical records with my own eyes, and he told me the complete truth. I no longer blame him for the rape, but I blame that tumor. Kevin was always a soft-spoken person in school, and I truly didn’t recognize who he was that fateful day. That tumor changed him completely, and now he is dying because of it” AJ told his parents firmly. 

Howie and Brian looked at each other, trying to come to terms with the fact that their son’s rapist was dying and that their son didn’t blame him anymore. They knew they couldn’t change AJ’s mind, but asked that they both meet Kevin as well, to try and calm their own feelings. Howie also wanted to see the medical records, to see the proof. 


	5. Kevin Meets Finn

The next day, the three men, and Finn, went to the hospital. AJ had him covered in his car seat, when he brought him into Kevin’s room. Kevin looked up to see two men accompanying AJ, and immediately became nervous. 

“Kevin, these are my fathers Brian and Howie Littrell-Dorough. They wanted to meet you, and Howie is a doctor, and wanted to see the medical records, to see the proof” AJ told Kevin, who nodded his head, and Howie went to the files, and looked through. 

Howie nodded his head to Brian, who looked shocked. Both men were reeling from the fact that their son had forgiven his rapist so easily, but knew that that was who AJ was. They watched as AJ lifted Finn from his car seat, and brought him over to see Kevin. 

“Kevin, this is your son Finn. Would you like to hold him?” AJ asked, as Kevin nodded his head. As he took his son in his arms, he started crying. He just held Finn, and studied his every feature. AJ took several pictures, and soon heard the hospital room door open, and Kevin’s parents come in. 

Howie and Brian looked up, and saw Kevin’s parents for the first time. They went over and introduced themselves as AJ’s fathers. Mr. and Mrs. Richardson were shocked, but accepted the handshakes, and turned to their son. They saw the baby in his arms, and their eyes widened. Finn looked like a carbon copy of Kevin as a baby. 

“This is Finn, Mom” Kevin told his mother, as he handed her the baby, after getting silent permission from AJ to do so. Kevin’s mother just held her grandson, with tears pouring down her face. 

“I just want you two to know, I will never keep Finn from you guys, even after Kevin passes. He will always know he has two sets of grandparents who love him. I want him to know all about his other father. Only you two can tell him about Kevin, about his childhood, and who he was” AJ looked at Kevin’s parents, who were stunned. 

“We never could have imagined that we would be able to stay in our grandson’s life. We will not interfere at all, and will take any visit we can get from you and Finn. We love him already, but we know our place in his life. Finn will not replace Kevin, but will be a bright spot in our lives. Thank you for doing this, we weren’t expecting this at all” Kevin’s father told AJ, who nodded his head. 

The makeshift family spent the day bonding with Finn, and getting to know AJ, Howie, and Brian, and vice versa. AJ continued to bring Finn in to see his father, and watched as Kevin slowly got worse. Kevin and AJ knew he didn’t have much time left, and AJ felt his heart break a little more each day, knowing his son’s father wouldn’t last much longer. One day, about a month after Kevin met his son, on April 12, 1996, AJ received a phone call in the middle of the night. 

“Hey AJ, its Kevin’s father. I just wanted you to know, that Kevin passed about ten minutes ago. His last words were that he hoped Finn grew up to be a good man, and that he hoped you would raise him well” AJ started crying, and thanked Kevin’s father for the call, and asked him to let AJ know when the funeral was. Kevin’s father promised to let him know, and AJ hung up the phone. He went to Finn’s crib and lifted the baby up into his arms, and went to his fathers’ room, waking them up. 

“Dads, I need you right now. Kevin’s father just called me, he passed ten minutes ago” AJ started sobbing, thinking about how his son would grow up without his other father, and that he was truly on his own now. Howie and Brian scooped their son and grandson into their arms, and just held them while AJ grieved for himself, but mostly for his son, and Kevin’s parents. 

Three days later, Kevin’s funeral was held, and AJ, with his fathers and Finn, attending. AJ allowed Kevin’s parents to hold Finley as much as they wanted, and introduced him to his father’s family. AJ brought his son with him up to see his father for the last time, and silently told himself and Kevin that he would raise their son as well as he could, and would do everything to keep in contact with Kevin’s family. He put his hand on the casket, as tears cascaded down his face. He said one final goodbye, and walked away. 

“What do I do now?” AJ asked his fathers that night, as he rocked Finley to sleep.

“You take the time to grieve this loss, continue taking care of Finn, graduate high school, and start college. You can’t hold onto what you have lost. Kevin wouldn’t want that, and neither would his parents. AJ, you are only 18 years old, and you already know the pain of loss several times over” Howie told his son as he snuggled and loved on his hurting son. 

“Yea, dad, you are right. I need to properly process this loss, and move on. I will never let Finley forget his father, despite his conception. But I can’t hold onto the past, it will only hurt me in the end” AJ agreed with his father’s words, and did just that. He graduated high school, and continued raising Finn with his fathers’ help. Around Finn’s first birthday, AJ was officially adopted by Brian and Howie, and he renamed himself Alexander James Littrell-Dorough.


	6. Moving On

Five years had passed and it was now September, 2001. AJ had graduated college in May, and received a Bachelor’s in Accounting, his dream major.  Finley was now nearly six, and the light of AJ’s life. Howie and Brian did all they could to help AJ out while he studied. Kevin’s parents also helped, and AJ and Finn, with Howie and Brian as well, were frequent visitors to their home. Finn knew all about his other dad, and missed him a lot. AJ would tell his son the truth about what had happened all those years ago, when Finn turned 18 himself. 

“Daddy, guess what day it is!” Finley enthused, making AJ smile.

“Um, your high school graduation?” AJ guessed, making Finn laugh.

“No, silly, my first day of kindergarten!” Finn ran to his daddy for a hug, which AJ immediately gave him. 

“I can’t believe you are almost six years old little man. Daddy loves you so much, and Papa is looking down from heaven and smiling at you right now” AJ told his son, who beamed. 

“I know Daddy, will Grandpa and Grandma be there as well today?” Finn asked, referring to Kevin’s parents, who spoiled their grandson rotten. 

“Yes, they will buddy, and so will Poppy and Abuelo. We all can’t wait to see you start school” AJ promised his son. 

AJ teared up, thinking about the past five years. Things had been extremely hard for a while, but AJ knew he was luckier than most, being able to have so much help. He thanked his lucky stars that he had graduated college, and now had a full-time job, that worked completely with Finley’s school schedule. He would be able to work from home as well, and be present in his son’s life. AJ had also started dating, and went on a few casual dates here and there, but nothing stuck for long, either due to him being a single father, or him getting cheated on. 

AJ shook off the thoughts, and went to find his fathers. Brian and Howie were extremely proud of their son and grandson, and also had to stop the tears from falling at the thought of Finn starting school. 

“Ready to drop of our little guy?” AJ asked Brian, who nodded his head. 

“Let’s do this, and see if we don’t cry in the process” Brian chuckled, and AJ shook his head, knowing that wasn’t going to happen. 

An hour later, with Kevin’s parents joining them, AJ brought Finn to his kindergarten classroom. He bent down next to his son to say goodbye, and Finn hugged him hard. He went around to his grandparents, and hugged them as well. 

“Bye, Finn, learn lots today buddy” AJ told his son, looking at him looking so small with the oversized backpack on his back. 

“Bye Daddy, I love you” Finn blew him a kiss, and entered the classroom. AJ turned his body, and started crying, with Kevin’s mom and his Dad joining in the tears. 

AJ walked away from the school with tears down his face, and he tried to get himself together. Finn would be done with school by three, and back in his arms. AJ had taken the day off work, and went to the local coffee shop to get something to eat, and to pass time. 

“Can I take your order” the barista asked, making AJ look up in surprise. 

“Nick, is that you?” he asked the familiar face, who brightened up when he saw who it was. 

“Yea, man it’s me. How have things been for you the last five years? I remember seeing you and your son at Kevin’s funeral, but I haven’t seen you since” Nick replied. 

“Can you take a break so we can catch up for a few, I’d like to talk to you” AJ asked, making Nick nod, and he quickly gave his order, and got a table to wait for Nick. 

Five minutes later, Nick was on his lunch break, and sat with AJ to catch up. He told Nick all about Finn, and what he had been up to the last five years. 

“It’s actually Finn’s first day at kindergarten today. That’s why I came in, to be near the school in case something happened.” AJ laughed as he admitted to his abnormal behavior. 

Nick laughed, and teased the worried father a bit. Nick was extremely happy to see AJ doing so well. He was devastated when he heard about what Kevin had did, and watching his high school friend deteriorate so quickly, tore him apart. He may have hated what Kevin did, but was glad that there was a piece of Kevin still living. He caught himself staring at AJ more than he usually would, and noticed how good the other man looked. 

AJ caught the stares, and blushed. He had also noticed Nick, and wondered if he should ask the other man out. It had been more than six months since his last date, and AJ had been feeling lonely lately. 

“Hey Nick, this may seem odd, since we really weren’t friends in school, but we both have grown up now, and I’d like to get to know you better. Do you want to go out with me on Friday night? We can go bowling, and get ice cream afterward. I can get one of my Dads to watch Finn, so we can be alone” AJ nervously asked the other man. 

“I’d love to go out with you AJ, but I want Finn to come with us. I want to meet your son. If I get into a relationship with you, I want to get to know both of the boys coming into my life” Nick told the other man, whose jaw dropped. 

“Are you sure? My dad's would be perfectly fine watching Finn, they’ve done it so many times before” AJ wanted to make sure Nick was positive about inviting Finn along. 

“Yes, I am sure. We can go out alone on a second date, but I want to meet your son. We already have history together, and I knew this wouldn’t be a normal first date” Nick firmly told AJ, who nodded his head.

“Friday night, at 6pm, Finn and I will meet you at the bowling alley. Does that work?” AJ questioned, and Nick nodded his head. 

“Yes, I will see you there. I have to get back to work, but I can’t wait until Friday” Nick gave AJ a hug goodbye, and AJ left the coffee shop, feeling lighter than he had in a while. 


	7. First Date, and Sparks Fly

AJ went home and told his dads about what happened, and Brian and Howie were happy for their son. They had met Nick at the funeral, and could see that he hated what his childhood friend had done, and didn’t hold any grudges towards him at all. The couple were happy that Nick was so willing to meet Finn, and they had good vibes about this new relationship. AJ had the same vibes, and couldn’t wait for Friday to come now. 

Finn had an awesome first day at school, and wouldn’t stop talking about it on the ride home. AJ just listened to his son, and smiled and laughed with him. 

“Hey buddy, we got plans on Friday!” AJ told his son that evening, who tilted his head at his father. 

“What are we doing, Dad?” Finn asked, and jumped into his father’s arms as they sat on the couch watching tv. 

“We are going to meet my friend Nick, and go bowling and get ice cream afterward. Does that sound like fun” AJ looked at his little boy, who grinned at the thought of ice cream.

“Yea dad! I can’t wait for the ice cream!” Finn exclaimed, making AJ roll his eyes at his son’s predictable behavior. 

“Awesome buddy, we are going at 6:00 on Friday” AJ explained, making Finn jump in happiness.

“I can’t wait Daddy, it’s going to be so much fun” Finn enthused, AJ agreeing with his son. 

AJ couldn’t wait for Friday to come, to spend time with his son and Nick. Ten miles away, in his own apartment, Nick was sharing the same thought. He couldn’t wait to reconnect with AJ, and get to know Finn. 

The next couple of days passed quickly, with Finn loving school, and AJ adjusting to his new job. Friday came, and AJ reminded his son about their plans with Nick. 

“Daddy, is Nick nice?” Finn nervously asked, looking down.

 Lifting his son’s head, and kneeling down to his level, AJ spoke to Finn with a firm voice, that made Finn pay attention. 

“I knew Nick in school, and while we weren’t the best of friends, we were friendly. He also was really good friends with your Papa, and could probably tell you a lot of stories about him” AJ saw his son smile, and knew he had reassured him. 

“I can’t wait to meet him and get ice cream!” Finn exclaimed, making AJ chuckle. 

“We are going bowling first buddy. Let’s get you to school, and then we will spend time together before meeting Nick” AJ got his son’s backpack together, and they set off for the elementary school together, with AJ leaving for work after dropping Finn off. 

Several hours later, Finn finished school and AJ had picked him up. They went to their favorite diner for an early dinner, and AJ could see his son getting nervous, the closer the time came to meeting Nick. He knew that Finn needed to meet Nick to calm down. It was now 5:45, and the duo left the diner for the bowling alley, arriving ten minutes later.

“Daddy, is Nick here yet?” Finn asked, as AJ looked around, and spotted the blonde at the entrance to the video game area. 

“He’s over here buddy, let’s go” AJ directed his son to the correct place, and Nick spotted the two of them approaching. 

“Hey AJ, how are you?” Nick asked, as he bent down to Finn’s level.

“Hi Finn, my name is Nick. It’s so nice to finally meet you” Nick waved to the little boy, who smiled and waved back. 

The three of them got their shoes, and Nick paid for two games for them to bowl. AJ tried to protest, but Nick told him that he could buy the ice cream. That compromise made AJ relent. 

“Daddy says you knew my Papa” Nick looked down to see Finn smiling at him. 

“Yes, I grew up with your Papa, he was my best friend when I was your age. We had a lot of fun together, and I miss him a lot” Nick looked at AJ as he said this, and AJ nodded encouragingly. 

“I miss Papa too, but Daddy always says he’s with the angels” Finn stated, as he went up to push his ball down the ramp again, knocking down all the pins. 

“I got them all down Daddy and Nick!” Finn yelled, and both men beamed at the little boy. 

“Way to go buddy!” “Nice job Finn!” Both men said simultaneously. 

The games continued, and the three enjoyed the time together. When they finished, the three returned their shoes, and Nick told AJ to meet him at the local ice cream place that was nearby. Less than ten minutes later, the three boys had giant ice creams in front of them. 

“Do you like it little man?” AJ asked his son, laughing as he saw that there was ice cream all over Finn’s face. 

“Yea Daddy, it’s really good” Finn said, digging his spoon in for another bite. 

Nick just looked at the father and son, and fell more in love with both of them. He had had feelings for AJ when they were in school, but after Kevin raped AJ, he knew he couldn’t act on them. All Nick wanted to do now, was make AJ and Finn smile, and be happy.  

While Finn ate, the two men caught up with each other, and reconnected. Nick found that the spark that was there in high school, had returned. He fell just as hard for AJ as he had in school. The trio finished their ice cream, and Finn soon fell asleep. AJ got him in his booster seat, and closing the door, faced Nick.

“Thank you for a wonderful night, and thank you for inviting Finn to come with us” AJ told the other man, who blushed. 

“I wanted to meet him, and you are right. He is a special little boy, and I could see a lot of Kevin in him. I loved getting to reconnect with you, and I was wondering if you wanted to go on a second date, just the two of us” Nick looked up to see the brightest smile on AJ’s face. 

“Of course, Nick. I would love to go on a second date” AJ reached up and planted a soft kiss on Nick’s cheek. 

“Thank you, AJ. How about one week from today, we can go to dinner, and a movie?” Nick offered, as he blushed from the unexpected kiss. 

“Perfect” AJ hugged the other man, and Nick kissed his forehead, as they broke apart. 

“Text me when you get home so I know you are okay, please” AJ told the blonde, who nodded as he walked to his car. 

AJ drove home thinking about Nick, and his future. He hoped that Nick would be a part of it, and that one day he would be Finn’s stepfather. AJ got Finn settled in bed, as he received the text from Nick, that he was home.

“Glad to hear it. Goodnight Nick <3” the text back said, and AJ soon fell asleep, dreaming of the man who had stolen his heart. 


	8. Confessions Of The Heart

The next week sped by between school for Finn and work for both AJ and Nick. Every time AJ thought about the date, he got butterflies in his stomach. He was sure Nick felt the same. He had told his dads about the first date, and Howie offered to watch Finn, so that AJ could go on the second date. 

“Thanks Papa, I really appreciate it” AJ looked at his father, who had a smile on his face. 

“I am so proud of you AJ. You are an amazing father, and I think you have something really special with Nick. Treasure it, and keep a hold on it, and him” Howie sagely told his son, who nodded. 

“I intend to Dad, thanks for the advice” AJ turned to Finn, who was looking sad. 

“What’s wrong Finn?” AJ asked, as Finn hugged his father’s leg. 

“I want to go with you to see Nick. I miss him” Finn looked up at his father, and AJ’s heart broke.

“I need to see Nick alone tonight, but I’ll ask him if he is free soon to play with you” AJ promised his son, who smiled, and let go of his leg.

“Thank you, Daddy, I hope you and Nick have fun” Finn stated as he latched onto his grandfather. 

AJ soon left to meet Nick at the restaurant. They would eat, and then see the movie, and Nick would come back to AJ’s to officially meet his fathers. 

Ten minutes later, AJ was waiting for Nick. He knew he was a few minutes early, and told the maître de that he had arrived for his reservation, that Nick had made earlier in the week. 

Three minutes later, Nick walked in, and hugged AJ, as they made their way to their reserved table. 

“How was your week?” AJ asked as they perused the menu, after thanking the hostess. 

“I am so sick of the fall season. If I have to hear “one medium PSL” again, I will go nuts” Nick grunted, as he looked at the menu.

“I can imagine. Thank god I don’t like pumpkin spice at all” laughed AJ, as he decided on his entrée, closing his menu, Nick following suit a few moments later. 

They quickly ordered their food, as AJ told Nick about his week, and about what Finn had been up to. 

“He actually asked if he could come tonight, and was heartbroken when I told him that it was just me and you. He misses you and wants you to come over and play soon” AJ softly told Nick, whose heart melted. 

“Tell little man that I will call him tomorrow, and we can set something up soon” Nick missed Finn as well, and couldn’t wait to spend more time with him. 

“So, can I tell you something” Nick bravely looked at AJ, who nodded his head. 

“Yes, sure. Is something wrong?” AJ asked worriedly, as he gazed at the blonde. 

“No, I just need to get this off my chest. I have had feelings for you for a long time. Since before Kevin did what he did. Once I found out what had happened, I kept my feelings in, and let them stay buried. When you came up to me last week, and we started talking, and then seeing you with Finn, the spark that was in my heart came back completely. I am falling just as hard for you AJ” Nick shyly looked at the other man, seeing him in shock.

“Wow, I wasn’t expecting that. But it makes what I am about to tell you easier to say. I have been falling hard for you as well Nick. Seeing you with Finn sparked something in me, and I really want to see where this relationship can go. I have thought of nothing else but you and Finn this week, and I really want things to work out” AJ told the other man, who blushed. 

“I want the same thing AJ. I want to see where this can go. Spend more time with you and Finn. Just live life, with someone by my side. That is what I want” Nick softly spoke, tracing patterns on AJ’s arm with his finger.

AJ took Nick’s hand, and kissed his palm as their food arrived. They both ate, and talked of inconsequential things, and enjoyed the time. Once they finished, they walked over, hand in hand, to the movie theatre, and saw the newest action movie that had recently come out. Afterward, they walked back to both of their cars. Nick stopped AJ before he got in his car. 

“Can I ask you something AJ” Nick shyly asked, as AJ smiled at him.

“Of course, Nick, what’s up?” AJ had to laugh at how nervous Nick was. 

“Will you be my boyfriend?” Nick looked wide eyed at the other man, who grinned.

“I would love that” AJ kissed his new boyfriend on the nose, making him go cross-eyed. 

The new couple parted and Nick followed AJ back to his house, so he could properly meet Brian and Howie. 

“Hey Nick, you look like you are about to enter your own execution. You have seen my dads before, why are you so nervous?” AJ looked at his panicking boyfriend as he left his car. 

“I have never been your boyfriend when I have met your fathers, that’s the difference” Nick told his new beau, as they walked into AJ’s home. 

A blur hit the two men in full force, as Finn collided into his father and Nick. 

“Hi Daddy! Hi Nick!” Finn exclaimed as he climbed his father like a monkey to get a hug. 

“Why are you still up Bug, you should have been in bed ten minutes ago” AJ mildly scolded his son who looked down. 

“I got scared Daddy, and I heard you and Nick talking since my window was open. I am sorry Daddy” Finn said sadly, and AJ kissed the frown of his face, and went to put him to bed. Nick watched silently, and saw Brian and Howie come in, and he steeled himself.

“Hi Mr. And Mr. Littrell-Dorough, how are you?” Nick enquired politely, as he shook both men’s hands. 

“Call us Brian and Howie, Nick. We are doing well, how about you?” Brian chuckled, as he saw Nick calm down considerably. 

“Doing fantastic. I have a good job, a steady income, my own apartment, a loving boyfriend who has an amazing son, and parents. I am feeling pretty content right now” Nick revealed to the now grinning men, who softly nodded. 

“We are so happy to hear that. Will AJ be meeting your parents as well at some point” Howie asked, soon regretting it as he watched a dark look come over Nick’s face. 

“Unfortunately, he won’t be. My so-called parents cut me off after they found out I was gay, and threw me out the day after I graduated high school. That is why I work at Starbucks, I couldn’t afford to go to college” Nick told his boyfriend’s parents, with not a little bitterness. 

“We are sorry to hear that Nick. It is still amazing that you are able to provide for yourself, and you should be proud of that. I know AJ is, and so are we” Brian encouraged the younger blonde. 

AJ had long gotten Finn to bed, and stood listening to his boyfriend and parents talk. He now knew that Nick was the One for him, and knew that he and Nick would be in it for the long haul, and that Nick would one day be Finn’s stepfather. He went into the living room, and spent the rest of the night talking to his boyfriend and parents, finally feeling content and whole again. 


	9. Wishes Come True

Eighteen months passed in a whim, and Nick and AJ’s relationship remained strong. Finn was at the end of his time in first grade, and was almost seven and a half. The trio spent a lot of time together, and Finn was starting to see Nick as another father figure. He wanted to talk to his daddy first about it though. 

“Dad, can I ask you something?” Finn asked AJ one night as they were working on Finn’s homework. 

“Yes, Finn, what’s up” AJ turned from the worksheet, to look into his son’s troubled eyes. 

“I am loving having Nick around, and I am starting to feel like he’s another dad to me. I don’t want you to get upset, but I don’t want to lie to you. You are my dad, and my papa is in heaven, but my heart has now fit Nick in there too. Are you mad at me?” Finn looked into his father’s shocked eyes, and AJ swallowed and processed his son’s words. 

“I am not mad at you son, just shocked. I am so glad you and Nick have gotten close, and thank you for telling me how you have been feeling. If you think of Nick as another father, that’s amazing, and I won’t discourage it. Do you plan to tell Nick? Or is it a secret for now?” AJ reassured his son, wanting to know what he wanted to do next.

“I don’t want to tell him right now. I will wait until the time is right. Can this stay between us for now?” Finn looked up at his father, smiling when he saw him nod his head.

“Of course, bug. Why don’t you finish this and head up to get ready for bed” AJ sent Finn to get ready, ten minutes later when his homework was done. 

“I really hope Nick proposes soon, I don’t want to crush Finn’s heart, now that he’s opened it so wide” AJ’s brain was swirling with the implications of Finn’s simple statement, a few hours later when he tried to fall asleep. 

Little did AJ know, proposal ideas were floating through Nick’s head, as he thought about his boyfriend and his son. He knew he wanted to incorporate Finn somehow, and he struggled to figure out a good way. An idea suddenly came to him, and he would have to ask AJ if he could have one on one time with Finn, so that they could plan. 

 A few weeks later, Nick had the ring, and Finn knew about the plan. He told AJ that they would be going to the park, and that Finn was invited along. AJ didn’t think anything of it, and the three planned to meet at the park at 6PM, and Nick and AJ would hang out while Finn played on the playground. 

When AJ arrived at the park, after dropping Finn off with Nick earlier that day, he realized something different was going to happen. There was a basket sitting on their usual picnic table, and AJ opened it to see some food, and a note. The note told him that Nick and Finn were hiding in some place in the park, and he had to follow the clues, and bring the basket with him to find them. Intrigued, AJ walked around the park, picking up mementos and remembering various times of his and Nick’s relationship over the past 2 years. He found himself in a small clearing, and he heard Finn’s voice behind him, making him turn around, and his jaw dropped stunned. 

Nick was on one knee holding a ring out towards AJ, with Finn in his other arm, both smiling widely. Nick asked AJ to marry him, which AJ immediately accepted, and Finn watched as his fathers embraced. He turned to Nick and after looking at his dad, who nodded, told Nick he had something to tell him.

“Nick, you have made my dad so happy in the last two years, and I know I have him and my papa as fathers in my life, but my heart has now fit you as well in that same title. Will you be my Nicky? That’s what I want to call you as a title, have my Daddy, my Papa, and my Nicky? It will probably change when I get older, but that’s what I want for now” Finn looked at his new father with all the love he could, and Nick was blown away. 

“Yes, Finn I would love to be your Nicky. I love you like a son, and you know I won’t replace your papa, but I am happy to hear that I have a place in your heart” Nick teared up as he hugged Finn, and AJ looked on with pride and tears in his eyes. 

The new family settled into their new dynamic, and slowly started planning their wedding. They knew they wanted it to be small, so they didn’t have to spend much. AJ and Nick were also saving for their first home, which Brian and Howie were willing to help with. 

After five months of careful planning, Nick and AJ exchanged vows in a small, intimate ceremony in AJ’s backyard. Nick’s also included a few vows towards Finn, whose smile never dimmed the entire day. They also honored Kevin in a small way, and the whole event was tastefully done. Brian and Howie gifted Nick and AJ two nights in a hotel, and they took care of Finn. The family was officially known as the new generation of the Littrell-Doroughs. 

Six months after the wedding, Nick, AJ, and Finn settled into their new home, only ten minutes away from Howie and Brian. The two men were so proud of their son, who had overcome so much, and now had a wonderful husband, and the most perfect son.

A few years later, AJ and Nick, after a couple of miscarriages, had twins that they named Patrick Kevin, and Bianca Claire. Finn was a proud big brother, and loved taking care of his siblings. AJ went on to manage his own accounting firm, and Nick stayed home to raise the twins, and Finn. Life was perfect for the whole family, and AJ was grateful that he had found Brian that fateful day, and hadn’t wished the world away. 

**Author's Note:**

> This is a new one for me. A multi chapter story involving rape, mpreg, and all the guys in some capacity. I love this fic, and I hope you do to. There is a second part to this, that I will also post. I'll be posting another one shot in a few days. Thank you all for the attention on my newest co write with Fricksgirl, we appreciate the love more than you know. As always, kudos, comments, and hits are loved, and do not go unnoticed. See y'all in my next story!


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